Family Secret Santa with couples kept apart

Choose the two people and add a block. By default it works in both directions, so neither partner can draw the other. You can add a block for every pair that shouldn't match, including siblings who live together.

Every block removes options, so in a small family it's possible to block so many pairs that no fair draw exists. If that happens, the draw tells you instead of breaking a rule, and removing one block usually fixes it. As a rule of thumb, each person needs several people they're still allowed to draw.

Mixing kids and adults in one draw can mean a child buying for a grandparent, or an adult spending far more on a child than the other way round. Many families find it easier to run two draws: one for the adults and one for the kids, each with its own budget set to suit the age group, so a teenager isn't expected to match what their aunt spends.

Each draw has its own link, so the kids' exchange can be managed by a parent. Children under 13 shouldn't use the site on their own: a parent opens the child's private link with them, shows them who they drew and adds the wishlist ideas they pick.

Families rarely agree on money without a nudge, which is half the point of Secret Santa: one gift each instead of a gift for everyone. Pick a limit that works for the person in the family with the least to spend, not the most, so nobody dreads the draw.

Set it when you create the exchange and it appears on everyone's page, next to the date. When people know the limit and have a wishlist to shop from, gifts tend to land close to each other in value, and nobody feels out-given.

Everyone reveals their match on their own device, so nobody has to be in the same room for the draw. Wishlist ideas can be links from any online store, which makes it simple to order a gift and have it delivered straight to the person you drew.

The organizer removes them from the share page. Whoever drew them gets the person they were buying for, and everyone else keeps their match. You'll get a short message to post in the family chat, asking whoever had them to check their link again, without saying who that is.